This type of packaging –you’ve seen it used to accommodate a wad of cookie dough or sausages of some assortment– is called a chubb. This particular chubb contains blended bits of restaurant-grade chicken, beef, or turkey all as raw as the day it last walked the Earth. New age veterinarians swear that this is the only stuff you should be feeding to Fido and Mittens. I personally believe new age vets to be the veterinary equivalents to MDs that encourage you not to vaccinate your kids, but that’s not a hill I want to die on.

Since the idea of feeding raw meat to your pets –who will be licking your children’s faces moments after devouring these morsels– needs some getting used to, I decided to make this packaging as fun, friendly, fact-laden and functional as I could. These resulting chubbs have certainly made the notion of a kitchen floor, wet with a syrupy union of dog slobber and viscera, well, easier to swallow.